Park that car, drop that bomb, sleep on the floor and dream about me...

(Anthems for a seventeen year old girl- Broken Social Scene)

I'd forgotten how much I adore BSS, was prompted by one of my very best friends changing her myspace profile song to the one i've just cited.
There is an undeniable connection between song and mood too, which is all kinds of conincidental.
I was asked yesterday why I haven't writen in a while, which sparked me thinking, i decided in the end its because i can't be arsed. Not in a i'm-giving-up-blogging thing, which i did debate, but ultimately decided against. It's more stuff is sort of static at the moment. You know when plate tectonics on a fault line just don't do anything for long periods? (I'm getting to the connection between lyrics and state of mind, bare with me) That's sort of how I'm feeling. Like, watching everything around me, and I can see these huge, massive, immeasurable changes that have happened and people keep reminding me of. In the same conversation where someone I'm proud to be able to call a friend asked me why this has remained unaltered by new posts, he (I'm not sure if he meant to) got me thinking about who I was this time last year. Everything is different. I don't think i really even look the same anymore, I don't feel the same. This isn't really a good or bad thing, its just bizarre. And what's more, there's this fast-advancing state of flux coming up, a social upheaval, that it seems some are more ready for than others. But now, there is nothing. This, again, is nothing horrible, I'm just anxious and restless simaultaneously.
I'm actually re-evaluating stuff now, with one eye on the future, wondering what/who I want around me when this earthquake (sticking with the geographical metaphor) actually hits.
The song that i've been listening to on repeat for the past hour or so, is innately linked to one of my favourite books, the always amazing Sarra Manning's Let's Get Lost (i know that Imy'll have picked up the reference within a split second of reading the title). I'm in quite an Isabel Clarke-ish place right now, except without Brighton as my back drop and the emotional baggage.
I'm feeling whimsical, and have decided to deal by focusing on things I love, and making a whole new set of dreams (focused mainly on Paris and those brown plaid Rocket Dog boots)and ultimately, this blog is my way of being my own heroine, so to speak.
I think this is what autumn and UCAS have done to me.