Here's To Living In The Moment, Cause It Passed

Time is bloody bizzare concepty-shebang isn't it?

Very, very weirded out by the ticking hands of clocks and chaging pages of calenders as I type this.

(I SWEAR i get crazier and crazier the more I write..and yet if I stop we face the prementioned dribbling, burbling away to myself predicament)

How can it go so damn fast when you're busy clinging to stolen moments, and trying to force and cajoul fate into doing what you want for a change...and yet when you're collecting old men's sweaty pint glasses or re-filling ketchup trays it seems possible that it could go on f.o.r.e.v.e.r?
Because it does, and yes that was a scarely guilded reference both to my irratating personal situation and how much i loathe being a waitress. AND I get bloody minimum wage. (can't allude to the much juicier "personal" shiz online, for you know, my privacy/dignity?) Agrjgfitrekyfkjykf seems to be the only word appropriate.

It just seems wailingly unfair that what I have decided i do really want is neither possible nor practical, and yes I do appreciate that in a month or so when I read this back, it wont even matter, or at least won't sting quite like it does right now, but presently I deemed it worthy of having a little weep and comforting cup of char over these four days I have left. But fret not, after my lovely phonecall with one of my girlies, the prospect of an H&M dress (preferrably the faux Luella one I've been waiting since like November for them to copy...but at this stage, if its pretty and I like it, I'm sold), some alcofroliks and a little of that precious time, four days could change everything.

This whole change just seems like it's going to uproot everyone and everything, and right now, I cannot see the benefits, just the crappy end of the stick. Which totally sucks. All we need is one more year. Or in saying that, am I secretly wishing I could have this one back, and make my decisions all over? I'm not sure, but all I know is that I am fighting time, and we all know that I cant win that one.

But look on the brightside, at least I'm not things thingyson from 'My Strange Brain' on the magnificent channel Five that really does try to educate the nation, who can't remember anything more than three minutes, and in a way is constantly trapped in the present. And maaaaaan, I bitch about my issues now?

On the flip, last night was ace. But I can't have it back either.

I'm going to shut up now, have a good 'un.